"Just being boys" or simply assholes? Someone asplain me the difference.

When there's a rift between a guy's girlfriend and his best friends, Bad Things happen. And besides that, it's just so pathetically cliche. So it's a situation I try desperately to avoid- for my sanity, for his, for the sake of the relationships all around, and because coming between other people is something I never want to do, regardless of who's involved. (Unless it's an orgy. But that's a whole different type of coming between people.)

Anyway, in Serious Relationship #1, I never met his friends because we lived in different areas, and we almost always interacted in my town, not his. So that worked out. Sort of. In SR #2, we generally had the same friends, and it worked out even better.  In SR #3, he's many miles away across the pond, and his friends (who are also his roommates) are people I never see, but who affect me nonetheless.

I've been fighting really hard to not dislike my boyfriend's roommates, but I just lost another battle, and the war effort isn't looking good. As if his nickname being "Nigger Lover" for a while wasn't enough*, after three days of minimal communication time because of his schedule (which is a long time for us, believe me), we finally settle in to a VoIP call. And then his roommates, who know he is talking to me, decide to pull the internet to force him to go play games with them instead.Which he THEN DOES, because he apparently likes to reward assholish behavior. Maybe if I were an asshole*, this would be a desirable quality in a significant other. Maybe I should become an asshole just to take advantage of all the features available in my Significant Other package deal.  Maybe it's like getting a computer capable of running the most sophisticated and intensive gaming software and then never playing more than solitaire on it.

Or maybe it's just boys being boys, being laid-back individuals, being low-stress and go-with-the-flow. The fact that my boyfriend is low-stress, laid-back, and a boy are all features I enjoy. They're some of the reasons why I picked that particular model, you know. So I don't know if I'm completely off-base here or not. Sometimes he tells me things are just culturally very different between our two countries, that things aren't nearly as serious there as they are here. To a certain extent, I know that's true. Americans are generally pretty uptight compared to most other first-world country inhabitants. Or at least, I certainly am.  I also know I'm a rather serious and crotchety person some* of the time.  But come ON. There has to be a line here somewhere, I just can't tell where from my biased perspective.

I told him he was rewarding assholish behaviour, and he told me he didn't have a choice since they were holding him (presumably, the internet connection) hostage. And I'm not even going to get into the fact that now his roommates know they can pull the internet whenever they want and he'll come running. Wonderful.

This bodes well for when the roommates and I eventually meet. And then they'll wonder why I'm so standoffish. And I'll tell them. And they still won't get it. Because apparently I'm the unreasonable one here.

In the mean time, I'm practicing my fake smile.


*I'm tired of the "But we're European, we don't have the same stigmas here because we don't have your racist history blah blah blah" bullshit. And yes, I did flip my shit over that nickname. And no, he still didn't see what the big deal was. *facepalm*


*Okay, a lot of the time. ...Okay, all of the time. Shaddup again.


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