each breath i take
is a poem
written for you.
This day a year ago was the first time in my life where I've been both single on Valentine's day AND happy about it. A relationship was the furthest thing from my mind. I was content with my singleness. I enjoyed it. I wasn't responsible for anyone else's emotional well-being, and I wanted it that way. But also, I still felt ... broken, for lack of a better word. I didn't feel whole, I didn't feel willing or even capable of opening up to someone else. But most importantly, I didn't want to... Love? Trust? No. Do not want. Emphatically. No. Nope, you can't make me.
But then this guy came along and started talking to me, and kept talking to me despite my best efforts to shut him out, and blah blah blah ..... blahblah...... here we are one Valentine's day later and all I can think is that our anniversary is coming up soon and that i'm still the luckiest girl in the world. And also, holy shit. Life is really, really good. I'm 24 and still not done Uni. I am jobless and beyond broke. I have a few not serious but chronically painful health issues that it appears I'll be stuck with for the rest of my life. The person that means the most to me is thousands of miles away and I don't know when next I'll be able to see him. My cat died. Haagen-Daz stopped making my favorite flavour, and new episodes of House started to feel stale and forced. And all I can think at this moment is holy shit. I am a lucky girl.