Singles Awareness Day

each breath i take
is a poem
written for you. 

This day a year ago was the first  time in my life where I've been both single on Valentine's day AND happy about it. A relationship was the furthest thing from my mind. I was content with my singleness. I enjoyed it. I wasn't responsible for anyone else's emotional well-being, and I wanted it that way. But also, I still felt ... broken, for lack of a better word. I didn't feel whole, I didn't feel willing or even capable of opening up to someone else. But most importantly, I didn't want to... Love? Trust? No. Do not want. Emphatically. No. Nope, you can't make me.

But then this guy came along and started talking to me, and kept talking to me despite my best efforts to shut him out, and blah blah blah ..... blahblah......  here we are one Valentine's day later and all I can think is that our anniversary  is coming up soon and that i'm still the luckiest girl in the world. And also, holy shit. Life is really, really good. I'm 24 and still not done Uni. I am jobless and beyond broke. I have a few not serious but chronically painful health issues that it appears I'll be stuck with for the rest of my life. The person that means the most to me is thousands of miles away and I don't know when next I'll be able to see him. My cat died. Haagen-Daz stopped making my favorite flavour, and new episodes of House started to feel stale and forced. And all I can think at this moment is holy shit. I am a lucky girl. 

1 comments

  1. Hi, girlfriend... From someone else who is alone on yet another Valentine's Day. I've not kept up with MY blog, but I'm happy to see you have. (Note to self: do better)

    I am the queen of Murphy's Law myself... so I completely relate to shitty days and shitty times.

    However, I think the worst thing you mentioned is the death of your cat. That saddens me at a very deep level. I know your kitty (baby) was the love of your life, and I'm crushed in empathy.

    Of course your health issues are a concern. I trust you'll reach out if you want to discuss it further. Again, I relate.

    You know what I love about you, Janelle? You are incredibly smart and witty, yet kind as well. Your humor is wonderful, and I'd love to admire your sense of style in person.

    You are still carving your path. I'm offering you advice, because I just can't help myself... Whatever course your life takes, make sure it's fun. You've got to love what you do. If it ever stops being fun, then change course. And take every fun opportunity that comes along in the meantime. Heheheh...

    About Haagen-Daz... Ain't that a bitch?!!! Ben and Jerry's quit making my fave, Wavy Gravy. I guess too many people imagined gravy the food, instead of Wavy Gravy, the 60's icon! Yummy... Chocolate and Fudge and Hazelnut and decadence.... Sigh.

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