worthless

I've had a bit more thinking time, a smidgen more introspection since writing this, and I've realized that the main issue I have with his lack of previous relationships actually has nothing to do with him.

I've realized -slowly, painfully- that my fear is that he has only chosen me because he doesn't know what else is out there. That he has decided to buy the first car on the lot without having looked around at other cars enough to know it's a clunker.

And that's the crux of it. In my heart, I think I'm a clunker. And that once he's more aware of the type of girl he could be dating, I'll be kicked out of this happy little existence faster than you can say "scrap heap."


At what point did I start to think of myself as worthless?


And how do I make it stop?