Good news: I'm still alive.

Well, it's good news only if you're not one of the people who wants to kill me for basically disappearing off the face of the Earth.

My life is kind of in a limbo right now, as it's been for the past year and a half, and it's generally not a great place to be. So I've been withdrawing from people for a long time now, because human interaction with those who've known me when I still semi-had my shit together tends to remind me of everything that I'm NOT doing with my life right now. It's too painful. I hope you'll forgive me.

It took a lot for me to admit that, even to myself. And somehow saying it here is easier than over the phone, in email, or IM. Yes, I'm mostly okay. And no, I'm not ready to talk about it.


~~~

Now, in recent news, I'm being forced to learn to drive against my will, as the idea of driving makes me very very anxious. On the other hand, I fully admit that I need to know how to drive, and would like to not be dependent on others to get me where I need to go.

Also in recent news, I've met the most wonderful guy. (Our monthiversary was the 9th. ^__^ ) His worst quality? He's turning me into a big pile of mushy mush. Oh, and since we met online and he lives three thousand miles away? We've never met in person. Although I'm trying not to hold his location against him as a major character flaw.

To end a post here on a good note for a change.... I'd just like to say that I can't remember the last time I was with someone who felt lucky to be with me, every day. And who told me as much, every day. It's humbling, and endearing, and flattering, (and inaccurate :P ) and so utterly eye-opening.

This is what a relationship should be.
I'm a lucky girl.

5 comments

  1. Well... I am just glad you're okay. I'm not sure what else to say right now.. so maybe it will come to me later.

  2. Again, you're nowhere near as lucky as I am. <3

  3. Okay, now that I am at work and getting paid to give this response (heh heh heh)... I would also like to add that I am happy that you have found someone who appreciates you for all the wonderful things you are and will come to be. It is an amazing, fulfilling feeling, and you are fully deserving of it, I am certain.

    Please take your time and do not rush coming back to anything that may stress you out... but do know that everyone at CoCoLo misses you, worried about you, and it just plain hasn't been the same. However, as we are all your friends, I know I can't REALLY speak for everyone but I can at least speak for your true friends there in saying that we just want you to be happy and enjoy your life. So PLEASE. Take some time to do exactly that, and if you ever feel like giving us a "hey"... well, we'd really love that, too.

    We'll be there when you're ready.

  4. Wow, Janelle.

    It's been a while since we've chatted. I'm just ecstatic to hear you're alive and kicking.


    It really took me by great surprise when you left. I only thought the absolute worst had happened to you.

    Please don't scare me like that again. Ever.

    On the other note, fantastic news that you've found your mate from heaven! That's real exciting to hear!! I know it must be totally fullfilling to meet a guy who can value your self worth, love you for you, and understand what Janelle is all about!

    I wish you guys all the luck in the world.**hugs**

    Jaz misses you to death. Hell, the entire Cocolo misses you! But we all respect your need to live your life and get things together! With that said, please stop by sometime. Send me an e-mail, IM, PM, golden tit? Something in remembrance?

    Take care and I'll catch you on the flip side.

    -Jazzyfizzle

  5. I spent the last two days trying to say something meaningful in this comment,but i failed.So please bear with the usual jademermaid and her nonsense. XD
    I am so giddy for you,really i am!But DON'T DISAPPEAR LIKE THAT AGAIN EVERRRR!!!We though something bad happened and we were really worried and missed you so much!It's so amazing that you found your other half,you definitely deserve tons of happiness and love! <3
    I hope i'll see you around on CoCoLo soon,but as Amy said,take all the time you need!We'll be waiting! *hugs*

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